Arranged Marriage



Arranged marriage has been the traditional way of conducting marriages from your ancient times. Much have changed nowadays and today in many areas of the world especially the western part, marriage decision is completely left to the two those who decide to live together depending on love, trust and dedication to each other. This love, trust and commitment is created over time by knowing the other person. But in majority of the Middle East and south Japan marriage is still fully arranged or otherwise partly arranged by the elders in the family by other authorities as well as the so called gatekeepers of the society. These individuals have considerable relation to the family based on religious and caste based structures. - Clase Para Matrimonos y Parejas

So let's understand what an arranged marriage is along with what are the positives and negatives from the arranged type of marriage. Further if you choose to go for an arranged marriage it would be also wise to take some tips and guidelines with this type of marriage. To start with, we can define arranged marriages as marriages which can be primarily decided by others other than the two individuals who are actually going to get married. It is also called as prearranged marriage. As this kind of marriage is arranged by someone besides the persons actually engaged and getting married, the process of courtship is completely curtailed or shortened to some great extent. Now these "other persons" in highly traditional societies might include parents, family elders, relatives, priests and spiritual leaders. In a a bit more liberal atmosphere we are able to see the utilization of the assistance of matchmaking agents, family friends and matrimonial sites. It has been seen that the matrimonial sites offer a minimum of some scope for that couple to know one another before getting married. All other avenues, to a very large extent are from the direct control and influence of the actual people getting married.

Arranged marriage: Positives with the arranged type of marriage

Now let's analyze the positive points from the arranged type of marriage. The first and foremost thing that comes into mind when we discuss the positives of arranged marriage is the full support from the families from each side. Arranged marriages are decided after great deal of meetings and discussions among parents and elder members inherited and therefore the chance of any discord inherited as regard for the marriage can be mostly eliminated out. Further these marriages are made on a solid foundation of two families uniting and therefore the actual people engaged and getting married get lot of confidence. In reality the trust one of them increases to a great extent because of the all round approval. Arranged marriage settings actually eliminate lot of burden and uncertainty from the lives of the unmarried children. For example if the boy or even the girl fully realize that they are going to get married only through arranged form of marriage then they don't have to take the trouble of hunting their life partners by their very own. They can concentrate almost all their energies on more purposeful and fruitful endeavours like degree and a career and leave the decision of their marriage completely with their parents. The other benefits of the arranged marriage include financial and physical support from both the families for the newly wedded couple in terms of starting a new household of their own. Moreover the nuclear family also provides a cushion in relatively tougher times. The future benefits of an arranged marriage incorporate a secure environment for an additional generation under the watchful eyes of the grandparents and a large family.

Arranged marriage: Negatives with the arranged type of marriage

As we have discussed the positives of arranged marriage in great length we should also be aware of the negatives and shortcomings with the arranged type of marriage. One of the biggest drawbacks of the arranged marriage is the most important decision of the person's personal life is taken by someone else. There is no work involved in the boy or the girl to find their life partner and there isn't any personal relationship between the boy and girl based on love, understanding and resolve for a live a life together. The boy and girl are strangers together and they don't know the likes and dislikes of each other. This can latter lead to lot of distress and may become a prime reason for marital discord. Further there's no guaranty that the trust between your families and elders which can be seen in the initial days continues for long. A small issue on the list of senior members of the family could possibly get blown out of proportion and therefore the large egos with the parents and other senior family members can completely destroy the wedding. Further arranged marriages will be the biggest cause of dowry demands and dowry related problems. These marriages are the biggest hindrance to private development and independence in life. The girl and the boy become influenced by their families and they become incompetent at even taking the smallest decisions of the life by their very own. Further there is large amount of interference from the families during the most trivial of matters and also the boy and the girl never learn how to sort of their lives how they want. Socially also arranged type of marriage is the biggest hindrance towards a society which is based on equality among the people. Arranged marriages will be the biggest propagators of the caste system and conservative spiritual convictions.

Arranged marriage: Tips for arranged type of marriage

Every system has its own positives and negatives. If you have decided that arranged marriage will be the only way that you can get married in the present circumstances prevailing in your daily life then it would be smart to increase the positives of the arranged marriage and steer clear of the negatives towards the maximum extent. The top thing that you need to do is to become accountable regarding your own marriage. Don't leave the decision of your marriage on other occasions hands. It is all things considered your life and therefore your opinion must be respected. This is something you should communicate for your parents and elders inside your home. Next is the source of getting a good match. Nowadays when communications happen at lightning speed it is good to use tools like online matrimonial sites for searching your daily life partner. With this mode you'll have some control in the buying process as you get a chance to directly make contact with the other person to whom you will get married and further addititionally there is chance of brief courtship through this mode. At least by this method you are able to know your life partner just a little better before getting actually married and you will also minimize dowry related demands and problems.

Further look into the horoscopes for a match if both families insist on it. This may increase the confidence one of the families as well as the those who are getting married. It is highly desirable to keep at least 3-4 months period gap involving the time the marriage is fixed and the actual marriage date. Aside from courtship and understanding the other person, this time can be utilized for checking and rechecking the antecedents of the people who are getting married. This period can be also a good opportunity for your two families to mingle with one another and create enough rapport to ensure that any future misunderstandings could be avoided. Finally the main point to remember is that the success of any marriage whether arranged or love marriage is determined by the two individuals who are actually engaged and getting married. It is definitely in their hands to make the marriage a big success or a big failure. - Clase Para Matrimonos y Parejas